so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize