i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize