put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize