Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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