you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
