the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
