Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
