he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
