508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
