is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
