you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
