He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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