just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
