Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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