Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize