DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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