WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also, beer. Big fan.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
