don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
