you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
