Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
