..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Randomize
