i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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