I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
