you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
