im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
