i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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