Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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