I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
