i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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