thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
