she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
