i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
