i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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