Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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