Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
