he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
