Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
