I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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