Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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