Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
