He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
