the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
