please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize