Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
