hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if only i could text you this smell
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
