A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
