And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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