The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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