How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
