brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize