Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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