I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
