her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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