you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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