I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
