there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we're making bets on your personal life
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize