Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
