..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can text with my tongue
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
