Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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