Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
