I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
