I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Its about making memories worth repressing
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
