i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
