My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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