Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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