She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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