he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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