Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
