Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
