One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
