If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
