Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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