Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So many bounce houses so little time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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