your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
